Snow Jokes / Recent Jokes
One morning Bill Clinton looked out of the Oval Office window and noticed someone had urinated "BILL SUCKS" in the snow. Furious, he ordered the FBI to take handwriting and urine samples from everyone in the White House and find the culprit immediately.
A few days later, the FBI Director called Bill and said, "Mr. President, I have good news and bad news. The good news is the urine belongs to Al Gore."
"And the bad news?" Clinton demanded.
The Director paused for a moment and replied, "Sir, the handwriting is Hillary's!"
A lady walked into a bar and there were no seats available, except for one at a table that was occupied by a man, and she decides to take it. He said, "Hello, my name is Jim Snow, what's yours?"
The women replied, "June."
She went to get a drink and Jim Snow sat there smiling at her. When she came back he still sat there smiling.
June was a little embarrassed, so she bashfully said, "Why are you smiling at me like that?"
Jim answered, "Well, just imagine having 6 inches of Snow in June!"
Diary EntriesAUG. 12 Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. Thehills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow coveringthem. I love it here.OCT. 14 Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turnedall the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through thebeautiful hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly theyare the most wonderful animal on Earth. This must be paradise. I love ithere.NOV. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting tokill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon, I love it here.DEC. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed inwhite. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow offthe steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), andwhen the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What abeautiful place. I love Ohio. DEC. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trickagain to the more...
A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it," the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he replied, and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" to which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear."
The truck driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts." Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck." It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?" "I'm June, June Hansen," she said. "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?" she challenged the trucker some miles down the road." Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on two pages, but requires six pages for hockey.
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars, and drink pop, not soda.
You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing u's from labor, honor, and color.
You know how to say free, prize and no sugar added in French thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
You know what a toque is.
You've plugged a car in overnight.
You've defended your property from trespassers with a lacrosse stick because you don't own a gun.