Socialism Jokes / Recent Jokes

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk they think you need.BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and more...

DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWSFEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need. FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk. PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. DICTATORSHIP: You more...

Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one to give to someone else.Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you the milk.Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both and sells you the milk.Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one and pours the milk down the drain.Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.Anarchy: You steal neighbour's bull, and shoot the government.

George Bush, Mikhael Gorbachev and Laloo Yadav were discussing socialism. The US president said that it was most prevalent in his country as millionaries and poorer people owned cars. Gorbachev said that it was more visible in USSR as both he and his orderly stood in queues for bread. Laloo Yadav gave a disgusted look and asked why the two were still discussing socialism when his state had already advanced to communism. The two statesmen looked aghast as Yadav explained: "In Bihar, the state has withered away!"

Q: What is the difference between liberalism and socialism?
A: Socialism is dead.

* FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
* PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
* BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: Your cows are cared for by former chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the rules say you should need.
* FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
* PURE COMMUNISM: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need." Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
* RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You take care of them but the government takes all the milk. You more...

DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWS

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of more...