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A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5: 00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1. 37. ”
“And that’s how you built an empire? ” the boy asked.
“Heavens, no! ” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars. ”

There were three guys that were golfing. Right away one of them ran to the bathroom. So, the other two started talking about how proud they are of their sons. The first guy said I am so proud of my son that last night he sold a million-dollar house. Well said the other guy, last night my son sold a million-dollar ferari.Then the other guy came back and asked what they were talking about. They sais their sons. So he said my son is a male-stripper and last night he bought a million dollar house and a million dollar ferari.

A guy worked in an adult book store. One afternoon his friend walked in. The guy said, "Dude, thank goodness you showed up!" "I'm starving, and I need you to watch the counter for me for a few minutes, while I run across the street to get some lunch." The friend looked around the store, then looked back at his friend oddly. The guy said, "Dude, don't ask any questions, just sell it to em." The friend said, "Ok". So the guy left. A customer came in, and went up to the counter. She said, "I want a vibrator. What do you have?" The friend said, "We got red ones, white ones, black ones, big ones, little ones and medium sized ones." The lady said, "I'll take a little red one to carry in my bag." He sold it to her. Another woman walked in. She approached the counter and said, "I would like a vibrator, what do you have?" The friend replied, "Red, black or white, large, medium or small. The woman asked, more...

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?", Yes, I was a salesman in the country", said the lad.

The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you. The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5: 00 came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?".

"One" said the young salesman.

"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth??.

"Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars" said the young man.

"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman "this man came in and I more...

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

A young Antartian man asked an old rich Antartian man how he made his money. The old Antartian held onto his vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932 and we were in the depths of the Great Antartian Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the area--you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes, I was a salesman in the country," said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss arrived and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Thirty-eight thousand, three hundred and thirty-four dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well," said the salesman, "This man came in and more...