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1. ur so stupid u sold ur car for gas money
2. ur so stupid when u got locked up in a grocery store u starved to death
3. ur so stupid u tripped over a cordless phone
4. ur so stupid u sold ur TV to but a VCR
5. ur so stupid when u threw a rock to the ground u missed
6. ur so f***ing stupid u took a spoon to the superbowl.

A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Nearthe cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD"printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letterscould mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk.The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would JesusDo", and was meant to inspire people to not make rashdecisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in thesame situation.The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm damnsure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps."

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2, 467," he said.
"$2, 467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," more...

If operating systems were beer
DOS Beer:
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.
Mac Beer:
At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
Windows 3.1 Beer:
The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you more...

Yo Mama is so stupid that she sold the car for gas money!

A Syrian guy walked into a cafe. He sees a Lebanese guy eating croissants and jam.
Syrian Guy: "Do Lebanese people eat the insides of the croissants?"
Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why? What's wrong with that?"
Syrian Guy: "Well for your information, the insides of the croissants are firstly recycled by the Syrians then sold to the Lebanese. Now as for the jam - do you guys eat jam?"
Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why?"
Syrian Guy: "Well, you know the fruits are firstly peeled, eaten then the peels would be then recycled and then sold to the Lebanese."
Lebanese Guy: "Do Syrians have sex?"
Syrian Guy: "Yes, of course."
Lebanese Guy: "Do you use condoms?"
Syrian Guy: "Of course. Why?"
Lebanese Guy: "Well.. when the Lebanese use condoms they recycle them and sell them to the Syrians."

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?