Son Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mother and her son were flying' Southwest Airlines' from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and said,' If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess,' If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?'

The stewardess asked,' Did your mother tell you to ask me?' He said that his mother had. So the stewardess said,' Tell your mother that its because Southwest always pulls out on time.'

Q: - Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
A: - Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.
Q: - Why won't the gujju jeweller sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
A: - The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for' Kesh'
Q: - What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Ramesh no dikro States ma gayon"?
A: - Ramesh's son failed in statistics...
Q) Why did Bill Clinton have the gujju beaten?
A) The gujju told Clinton "You are an IMPOTENT man"
Q) What will a Gujju tell a tomato, coming last in a tomato race?
A) Tomato KETCHUP.
Q) Why did the gujju go to Rome?
A) He wanted to listen to POPE music.
Q) Why did the gujju go to London?
A) To see BIG BEHN.
Q) Why was the gujju stacking up 1 cent coins on the day before exams?
A) He wanted to get "cent-per-cent".
Q) What did the Gujju have in the morning?
A) LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.
Q) more...

John invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, she couldn't help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was. She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious. She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening and began to wonder whether there was more between John and Judy than met the eye. Realizing only too well what his mother was thinking, John said, "I can see your wheels turning Mom and I know what you're thinking. Rest assured Judy and I are strictly roommates." A few days later, Judy went to John and said, "You know the beautiful silver gravy ladle? Well, ever since your mother came to dinner I can't seem to find it. You don't think she would have taken it, do you?" "I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure," replied John. John then sat down and wrote his mother the following letter: "Dear Mom, While more...

A Pakistani soldier was caught trespassing in the private quarter of a home. The houseowner hauled him out into the street and both he and his son began to thrash him. A passerby joined them. The military police rescued the soldier and arrested the three men. They were arraigned before a military court.
Assaulting a man in military uniform is a very serious crime, punishable by death,' said the presiding officer to the three accused.' What explanations have you to offer as extenuating circumstances?'
The elderly houseowner replied:' Sir, I caught this man trying to molest my daughter. The honour of a Pakistani daughter is more sacred than one's life.'
'Quite right!', agreed the presiding officer.' And what do you have to say?', He asked the houseowner's son.
'Sir, this fellow was. trying to take liberties with my sister. The honour of a Pakistani sister is more precious that one's life/ he replied.
'Quite right!' agreed the presiding officer, and turned to the more...

A father takes his deaf mute son to the Godfather.....

Father: Godfather my boy is a good boy but he can't get a job because he's a deaf mute.

Godfather: I will give him a job as a bag man. He will pick up the money from my bookies and bring it back here. he doesn't have to talk to anybody. Two weeks go by and the Father is grabbed off the street brought to the

Godfathers office. His Son is sitting in a chair all beat up.

Godfather: $50,000.00 is missing, ask your Son where it is. The Father: turns to the boy and in sign language says...."What did you do? Where is the money? they are going to kill you!

Son: (in sign language) I don't know anything about the money

Father: Godfather my Son is a good boy. He says he didn't steal any money

Godfather: Pulls a gun from his drawer and lays it on the desk and says..."ask him again" The Father: (in sign language) This guy is serious, he's going to kill more...

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500, 000." The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500, 000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!" The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500, 000." The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500, 000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!" He returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but more...

Version One:

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone
who would spade up his potato garden.
The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that
garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"
At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but
didn't find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
Version Two:

Place and time: somewhere in the Soviet Union in the 1930s. The phone rings at KGB headquarters.
"Hello?"
"My neighbor Ivan Asimov is an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his woodshed."
"This will be noted."
The next day, the KGB goons go over to Asimov's house. They more...