Spirit Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time there was a very naughty little rabbit who liked to tie squirrel's tails in knots. The squirrels were, naturally, very upset by this and appealed to the Spirit of the Woods.
She appeared before the little rabbit and said "You are a very bad little rabbit and if you tie just one more squirrel's tail I will change you into a goon!"
The rabbit promised he would be good, for he surely did not want to be a goon but, before long, he yielded to temptation and tied another squirrel's tail into a knot. The Spirit reappeared instantly and with a puff of smoke - she changed the little rabbit into a goon.
The moral of the story, of course, is... "Hare today, goon tomorrow."

The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel. "Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."

The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?" he asked.

"None that plays very well," a Cardinal replied. "But," he added, "there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic.

We can offer to make him a Cardinal, then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."

Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus more...

Don't ya just love the holidays, when everyone is just so full of the spirit of the season and joy and good will towards men? As a plain old country boy now living in the big city, I wanted to share the warmth and joy I felt with all these nice city folk.
The other day I went to the local religious book store, to locate something to share with others, and while I couldn't find any with a Christmas theme, I saw a "Honk if You Love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car; tell y'all what, I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed.
I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the upcoming Holidays and all, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I easily found several people who loved Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Lord because, he leaned out his window and even yelled, "Jesus more...

3 Biggest Software Lies:
The program's fully tested and bugfree.
We're working on the documentation.
Of course we can modify it.
3 Biggest Computer Room Lies:
As long as you remember to 'SAVE' your input, you'll never lose any
files.
We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door.
The new machines on order.
3 Biggest Large Company Lies:
We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
People are our greatest resource.
We say 'let the marketplace decide'.
3 Biggest Small Company Lies:
We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
The boss is just one of the guys.
Staying small is a conscious decision.
3 Biggest Marketing Lies:
Immediate delivery?...No problem.
We treat every customer as if they were our most important.
We're going out to lunch to talk business.
3 Biggest Engineering Professor's Lies:
Some day this course will come in handy.
These tests are more trouble for me than they are for more...

ADS FROM WOMEN - What they really mean
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THE MALE more...

There was a boy riding on his bike outside a church.
The priest saw him and told him to come into the church and the boy said,"...But they'll steal my bike."
The priest explained how the Holy Spirit would take care of it, so they went inside.
The priest showed the boy how to make the sign of the cross and told the boy to repeat it..."In the name of the Father, The Son...Amen"
The priest said,"What about the Holy Spirit?"
The boy replied, "Its outside taking care of my bike!"

There was a boy riding on his bike outside a church.The priest saw him and told him to come into the church and the boy said,"...But they'll steal my bike."The priest explained how the Holy Spirit would take care of it, so they went inside.The priest showed the boy how to make the sign of the cross and told the boy to repeat it..."In the name of the Father, The Son...Amen"The priest said,"What about the Holy Spirit?"The boy replied, "Its outside taking care of my bike!"