Sport Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "Its not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "Its not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "Its not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since youve had a cigarette?""Ten years!", he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!" Then she asked, "How long has it been since youve had a drink of whiskey?" He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, thats more...
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: Whats with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I dont know, but Ive never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Lets have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, whats with that group ahead of us? Theyre rather slow, arent they? George: Oh, yes, thats a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime. The group was silent for a moment. Pastor: Thats so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. Doctor: Good idea. And Im going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if theres anything he can do for them. Engineer: Why cant these guys play at night?
I see that Michael Jordan has been named president of the Washington Wizards.
Now we have two presidents in Washington who know how to score.
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys."Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that weve got all the good players and the best coaches.""I know, and thats all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "Weve got all the umpires."
What is the most popular sport played by raindrops and hail stones?-Diving
1 ) Casket features GM Goodwrench paint scheme.
2) The deceased is referred to as "being out of provisionals."
3) Eulogy delivered by Dr. Jerry Punch.
4) Only the first 43 cars are allowed in the procession.
5) Hearse referred to as "pace car."
6) First-time mourners have a yellow "rookie stripe" on the trunk of their cars.
7) No coolers over 14 inches allowed in the chapel.