St Patricks Day Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.
Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold?
A: They like to "go" first class!
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!
Q: What's Irish and stays out all night?
A: Patty O'furniture!
Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
Q: What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife?
A: A bachelor.

Q: What kind of music does a leprechaun band play?
A: Shamrock' n' roll!
Teacher: "Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?"
Student: "Because it was too far for them to crawl."
Q: What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog?
A: A little green with a croak of gold!
Q: What did the leprechaun say to the elf?
A: "How's the weather up there?'
Q: What would you get if you crossed an Irishman with a basketball star?
A: Eire Jordan!

On Saint Patrick's Day, an Irishman who had a little to much to drink was driving home from the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over.
"So," said the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Q: What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?
A: Ground-dog Day!
Q: What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?
A: He became a pound hog!
Q: What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?
A: We'll have six more weeks of splinters!
Q: Why was the groundhog depressed about his den?
A: He was having a bad lair day!
Q: What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a Christmas drink?
A: Ground Nog Day!
Q: What's green, has four legs, and jumps out of its hole on February 2?
A: The ground frog!

Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? A: Regular rocks are too heavy.