Stairs Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man decided to leave work early and go drinking. He stayed at the bar until it closed and by then, he was very drunk. When he got home, he didn't want to wake up his wife, so he removed his shoes and started to tiptoe up the stairs.
Halfway up the stairs, he fell backwards and landed flat on his butt. That wouldn't have been so bad, but he had a couple of empty bottles in his back pocket which broke and carved up his buttocks pretty badly. He was so drunk though, that he didn't even realize he was hurt.
He made it up the stairs and into the bathroom, where he began to undress. Suddenly noticing some blood, he checked himself out in the mirror. Sure enough, he saw that his behind was cut up something awful. He repaired the damage as best he could, under the circumstances, and went to bed.
When he woke up in the morning, his head was hurting, his backside was hurting, and he was cowering under the covers, trying to think up a good story.
Just then, his wife entered the more...
There was this family who lived in the country, and the father took his boy out shooting. When they came back later that day the father put his BB gun on the top of the stove and hurried to the bathroom.
He set it down so fast and hard that it opened and the BB's from the gun went right into mother's spagetti sauce. She had seen the BB's and just figured that they couldn't hurt anyone, so she just served dinner anyways.
Later that night the little girl ran down stairs saying, "mommy mommy I just peed BB's! Well did it hurt you said the mom. No said the girl. Ok then don; t worry it will go away.
Then the little boy runs down stairs, "mommy mommy I just peed BB's! Well did it hurt she says? No says the boy. Ok then don't worry about it, it will go away.
Later that night the father rushes down the stairs with his pants down - "honey, honey, I was just up stairs jacking off and I shot the dog!"
A blonde was spending almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.
She’d hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
“Excuse me, miss, ” said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. “The hotel doesn’t mind you sunbathing on the roof, but we’d appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday. ”
“What difference does it make, ” the blonde asked rather calmly. “No one can see me up here, and besides, I’m covered with a towel. ”
“Not exactly, ” said the embarrassed gentleman. “You’re lying on the dining room skylight. ”
...for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed.He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails.All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place.
They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no! My wife's dinner party!" He gathered all his clothes, put them more...
There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane.At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets.When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat andexposed himself. The stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir. You have toshow your ticket here, not your stub."
An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out of order" sign, just "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."-Mitch Hedberg