Stampeding Jokes

You`re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Don`t stop to stomp on ants when the elephants are stampeding.

Don`t try to have the last word; you might get it.

Don`t worry about the sand in the Vaseline, they don`t use it anyway.

Due to recent budget cuts and downsizing, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.

Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy and wealthy and dead.

Easiest way to figure the cost of living: take your income and add ten percent.

Eat the rich. The poor are tough and stringy.

Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness