Stay Jokes / Recent Jokes

Everyone: "Dude, I'm in town for the weekend with no plan and no money. Can I stay on your couch?"

Me, if I had any balls: "Go fuck yourself."

Me, because I can’t say "no": "I guess so."

[The next morning...]

Everyone: "So, like, what are you doing today?"

Me, if I had any balls: "Doing what I would have done if you weren't here!"

Me, because I'm a nice person: "Babysitting you-I mean, let's do something?"

Everyone: "Hey, can I use your computer to check my email?"

[The next night...]

Everyone: "So, I called my friend, and he's not around... um... do you think... um... I can stay like another night?"

Me, if I had any balls: "You're a douche and your mama didn't raise you right."

Me: "I guess so."

Everyone: "Thanks, man. Oh, by the way, you're like low on more...

How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape? He does lots of bare-obics.

Q: What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? A: Stegosaur-rust!

There once was a husband and wife who were unable to have children. After consulting everyone who would listen to their problem, they were still unsatisfied. Finally, they consulted their family priest.
"My children," the priest began, "The Lord will listen to your prayers, and I am sure that you will be blessed with children shortly. In fact, I am planning an extended stay in Rome, and while I'm visiting the Vatican, I will light a candle for you."
"Thank you, Father, thank you!" said the couple.
Before leaving, the priest turned and said, "I am sure everything will work out just fine for you. My stay in Rome will be for quite some time-15 years. But when I return, I will be sure to pay you a visit."
And so, 15 years came and went, and the priest returned to the States.
While resting on his porch one mid-summer morning, he remembered the promise of paying a visit that he had made 15 years ago. So he made his way to their more...

How long does a harp stay in tune? About 20 minutes, or until someone opens a door.

Once a travelling salesmen was on his way to a remote place, of course he knew of an Inn which will take him. a friend of him gave the location. However due to heavy wind and rain he could not reach the place, so he thought of finding an alternate arrangment. while walking he came to a small farm house, knowing that he can't travel any more, he knnocked the door.
A lady above middle age of not so good looking with a sad face opened the door. So he asked her "Mam, can I stay over night, the weather is so foul I don't think I can make it to the Inn. she say "Sir the only spare room I had I have given ti to this young couple who came in a moment before, however if it is OK you can stay with the baby in her room".
He thought for a while and it struck to him"what if the baby does PEE on him at sleep or be a nuisance all night'. So he asks the lady "mam I don't like to be disturbing her, rather if you could allow me sleep in the barn I'll be out of here by more...

How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!