Stay Jokes / Recent Jokes
How long does a harp stay in tune?
About 20 minutes, or until someone opens a door.
On day two budies had no place to stay in. They saw a farm and decided to stay there.They knocked on the door and a elderly scottish man answered.The two budies asked
can they stay over one night.The old scottish man repieid "
Yes, but you cant touch me daughter"
.So they stayed, and ingnoring the old dudes request they had sex with his 18 year old daughter.The old guy found out and the next day he told the guys to go out and bring back their favorite fruit.They did so.One came back with ten grapes.The scottish man said"
I found out you and your friend did touch me daughter, now you will pay!"
The old guy got the ten grapes and stuck them up the guys ass.The poor guy was screaming.But then he started laughing.The old guy said "
Why are you laughing! I just pushed ten grapes up you ass!"
The guy said"
Its that my freind is out there getting a watermellon"
.
Id love you to stay the night, but Im afraid youll have to make your own bed. Oh, thats all right, I dont mind at all. Right. Heres a hammer, a saw, and some nails. The woods in the garage. I have four legs, but only one foot. What am I? A bed
BACKUP - What you do when you run over a coon in the woods BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern BUG - The reason you give for calling out sick CACHE - Neede when you run out of food stamps CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker CRASH - When you go to Juniors party univited DIGITAL - The art of countining on you fingers DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer FAX - What you lie about to the IRS HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put ther hair KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie lives ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test ROM - Where the pope lives INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put ther hair KEYBOARD - Where you more...
The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.
She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"
I said, "Sure you can." And shut the door in her face.