Strings Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. He was shown an especially fine one which he liked the look of, but he was puzzled by the two strings which were tied to its feet. "What are they for?" he asked the pet shop manager. "Ah well, sir," came the reply, "thats a very unusual feature of this particular parrot. You see, hes a trained parrot, sir, he used to be in the circus. If you pull the string on his left foot he says Hello and if you pull the string on his left foot he says Goodbye." "And what happens if you pull both strings at once?" "I fall off my perch, you fool!" screeched the parrot.

This
guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees
a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and
a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner
the significance of the strings.
"Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you
pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull
the green string he speaks German," replies the
shop keeper.
"And what happens if I pull both the strings?"
our curious shopper inquires.
"I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches
the parrot.

These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells “I don’t serve strings in this bar…” The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders… The bartender shouts, “Hey, didn’t you hear what I told your buddy? ” String says “Yeah. ” Bartender says, “aren’t you a string? ” String says, “No, I’m a frayed not…”

Three strings walked by a bar and noticed a sign outside it that said "NO STRINGS ALLOWED."
Indignant at the discrimination the first string decided to go in and order a drink.
The bartender said "Can't your read?" and when the string refused to leave he picked it up and tossed it out the door.
The second string tried the same thing and when it also refused to leave the bartender punched it and threw it out the door as well.
The third string thought for a few seconds, then scraped itself along the sidewalk harshly until it was ragged all over. Then it twisted itself inside out and around and around until its middle was all in a bunch.
Then it entered the bar, got up on a stool and ordered a martini.
"Say," asked the bartender suspiciously, "aren't you the string I just threw out of here?"
'Fraid not," replied the string.

A lady once went to a pet store and asked the storekeeper for a parrot that could speak. The storekeeper showed the lady into a room where there were many birds he then showed her a parrot which was sitting on a swing in it's cage and had two strings tied to both his feet, the storekeeper then told the lady that if she pulled the string tied to the left the parrot woud say" good day " and if she pulled the string tied to the right leg it would say " how de do " the lady pulled the strings one at a time and the parrot said just what the storekeeper said it would say. Then the lady asked the storekeeper what the parrot would do if she pulled both the strings at the same time and then the parrot replied " i'll fall off the swing you bubleheaded idiot ".

This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings.
"Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.
"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.
"I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.

A preacher is buying a parrot." Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher." Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him." Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm." "Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?" "I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.