Stuck Jokes / Recent Jokes

As Joe was trying to pack for vacation, his 3-year-old daughter was having a great time playing on the bed.
At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, he reached out and stuck her fingers in his mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before he rushed out of the room again.
When Joe returned, his daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears streaming down her face...
Joe said, "What's wrong honey?"
Dejected, sad and broken, she looked up at him and said, "Daddy, where's my booger?

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either."Tech Support: "You did what, sir?"Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used more...

A blonde, a brunette and a readhead are stuck on an island. For years and years they live there, until one day they find a magic lamp. They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life-- I just want to go home". .. POOF she is gone.
The the red head makes her wish "This place sucks, I want to go home too". .. POOF she is gone.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie says to her "My dear what is the matter, "I wish my friends were here". .. POOF!!!

One day, a guy was on his way home from work when the most remarkable thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as he sat there at a red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into his windshield. If that wasn't strange enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the windshield wiper.

Just then the light turned green and there the guy was with a bird stuck on his windshield. Without any other apparent options, he turned on the windshield wipers to try to get rid of the bird. It actually worked. On the upswing, the bird flew off, and it slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind him. Unfortunately, the car behind him was a police car.

Immediately the lights went on and he was forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told him that he saw what had happened at the light. Trying to plead his case fell on deaf ears. The officer simply stated,' 'I am going to have to write you up for flipping me the bird.''

There once was a women who bought a new house but didn't know what to name it. So she stuck her head out the window and heard Hairy Butt! So she decided to name the house Hairy Butt. Then sometime later she had a baby boy but didn't know what to name it, so she stuck her head out the window and heard the word Crack, so she named her son Crack. The next day she lost her son so she called the police and said "Help! I looked all over my Hairy Butt but I can't find my little Crack.

During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.

"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.

"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys,. ..."Yours is. "

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff. Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she's pregnant. Q: What will she ask you? A: "Is it mine?" Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life? A: Third grade. Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test? A: Saliva. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.