Stupidity Jokes / Recent Jokes
Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how...An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.As smart as bait.Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.Forgot to pay his brain bill.His belt doesn't go through all the loops.If he had another brain, it would be lonely.Missing a few buttons on his remote control.Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.Receiver is off the hook.Surfing in Nebraska.An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.A few beers short of a six-pack.A few peas short of a casserole.The cheese slid off his cracker.Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???.....) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????....) On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or more...
Every day, we are assaulted by stories of stupid people -- many of whom use their stupidity for personal gain. From time to time, though, we hear of those who strive to achieve new levels of stupidity *while* also breaking the law. To these brave men and women -- ooops, "women and men" -- we present the highest possible honor: entry into the "Stupid-Criminal Hall of Shame."
Following are their accounts. .
Kentucky (where else?): Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, more...
whats the difference between stupidity and apathy??? I dont know and I dont care!!!
BASIC STUPIDITY
* Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
* Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
* Asking when the rock set starts $20
* Continually asking "where are we?" $25
* Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
* Asking bone player where "1" is $50
* Taking cellphone call during 4's $100
If he gets any denser, the geocentric theory of the universe will come true. If he had a lobotomy he'd depressurize. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. If he had brains, he'd take them out and play with them. If he had console lights, we would see only the idle loop patterns. If he were any brighter he'd be in the visible spectrum. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. If her brains were put in a hummingbird, it would fly backwards. If his brain were a hard drive, it would back up on a single floppy. If his brains were money, he'd still be in debt. If his IQ was two points higher he'd be a rock. If ignorance were bliss, she'd be orgasmic. If it's not in his horoscope/tea leaves, he doesn't take it seriously. If she had a disk we could upgrade her with DOS 3.0. If she was any dumber, she'd be a green plant. If stupidity were a crime, he'd be number one on the Most Wanted list. If the government ever declared war on stupidity, he'd get nuked. If more...