Substitute Jokes / Recent Jokes
A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.
Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played, "The Star Spangled Banner."
A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women." "Yeah what happened?" asked his friend. The first guy replies, "Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle."
A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Jimmy Poole, has got the biggest tool, in the whole damn school!"
She yells, "Whose Jimmy Poole?"
This kid in the back stands up and says, "I'm Jimmy Poole."
"Well, Jimmy, your staying after school!"
The very next day when the substitute teacher walks in, she looks up at the blackboard and written on it, it says, "PAYS to ADVERTISE."
A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the
congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for
repairs to the church building.Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and
a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute
wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said
impatiently.
"But you'll have to think of something to play after I make the
announcement about the finances."During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters,
we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we
expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or
more, please stand up."At that moment, the substitute organist played, "The Star Spangled
Banner."