Swimmers Jokes

Why are there no Olympic Team Cuban swimmers? Cause all the Cuban who can swim are here already!

Passengers on a Philippine Airlines flight heard this announcement from the captain, Capt. Juan Amorpropio: "Mga kababayan, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean" The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement: "Mga kababayan, we at Philippine Airlines have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane" As commented by one of the passengers: "Galing, that's what i like about PAL, always has some contingency measures of some sort!, I hope they help me out coz' i definitely don't know how to swim." After this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in more...

Lazzy Airlines
-Passengers on a Lazzy flight heard this announcement from the captain:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean"
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lazzy Airlines have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane"
After this announcement all the pasengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean.
The captain once again made an annoucement: "Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and more...

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two. After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. "What took you so long?" inquired the Redhead."There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the Brunette."No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait.Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde "What took you so long?""What do you more...

Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean." The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation, but were somewhat comforted by the captains next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency, and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane, and all the swimmers are on the right side." After this announcement, all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captains request. Two minutes later, the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an announcement, "Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open you r emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of more...