Syrian Jokes / Recent Jokes

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters.In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes.Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow.His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon.He told his Syrian guest, "Take anything you want - our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles.""No, no - you don't understand!" the Syrian replied. "Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-*jet* missiles!"

A Syrian guy walked into a cafe. He sees a Lebanese guy eating croissants and jam.
Syrian Guy: "Do Lebanese people eat the insides of the croissants?"
Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why? What's wrong with that?"
Syrian Guy: "Well for your information, the insides of the croissants are firstly recycled by the Syrians then sold to the Lebanese. Now as for the jam - do you guys eat jam?"
Lebanese Guy: "Of course. Why?"
Syrian Guy: "Well, you know the fruits are firstly peeled, eaten then the peels would be then recycled and then sold to the Lebanese."
Lebanese Guy: "Do Syrians have sex?"
Syrian Guy: "Yes, of course."
Lebanese Guy: "Do you use condoms?"
Syrian Guy: "Of course. Why?"
Lebanese Guy: "Well.. when the Lebanese use condoms they recycle them and sell them to the Syrians."

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters. In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes. Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow. His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon. He told his Syrian guest, "Take anything you want - our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles.""No, no - you don't understand!" the Syrian replied. "Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-*jet* missiles!"

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters.

In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes.

Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow.

His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon.

He told his Syrian guest, "Take anything you want - our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles."

"No, no - you don't understand!" the Syrian replied. "Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-*jet* missiles!"

The Israeli soldier had been in the army only a week, but already he was sick of the long hours and regimentation. He asked his superior officer for leave. The officer laughed and said he could have a weekend pass under one condition: He had to capture a Syrian tank.
Undaunted, the soldier left and an hour later returned with a spanking new Syrian tank.
Shocked, the commanding officer walked over as the soldier climbed from the hatch.
"I don't believe it!" he said, running his hand along the bazooka plate. "You must tell me how you did it."
"Simple," said the soldier. "I drove into the DMZ, saw a Syrian soldier, asked him if he wanted a weekend pass, and we swapped tanks."