Teen Jokes / Recent Jokes

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.
Teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"
Grandpa replies, "Nope." Teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?" Grandpa replies, "A wedding ring."

I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay. Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated. "I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting."

A male teen walks up to his uncle.
"Where's Aunt Rhodie?" said the teen.
"In the living room," said his uncle.
The teen walks to the door.
"I wouldnt go in there if I were you," said the uncle, "they're talking about female things."
The male teen walks in anyway -
(a moment in the hall passes) -
the teen comes out all grossed out.
"What's wrong?" said the uncle.
"I thought you meant SHOES!" said the teen.

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice.""Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"

Two teenagers are sitting on a house porch after school one afternoon. Little Johnny comes walking down the road in front of the house. One of the kids leans over to the other and says, "Do you see that guy? We call him Little Johnny and he is the greatest wheeler dealer in the whole school. He can make a deal and get a trade for almost anything."

This first kid yells to Johnny and asks, "Hey little Johnny, whatcha carrying around with you?" Little Johnny yells back, "I have a sack of buttercups and I am going to go trade them for butter." The teen on the porch yells back, "That is silly! You cannot trade buttercups for butter!" But one hour later, Johnny comes back down the road carrying a bucket full of butter. The two kids on the porch just shake their heads and mutter, "That Johnny is the greatest trader of all."

The next day, the two teenagers see Johnny walking down the road again. One of the kids yells to more...