Tent Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lioncame by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, "Howfunny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?"After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbedthe lion and started pumping away. The lion freaked of course, and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring, he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good timeto be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he hadto think of something quick because he wasn't going to outrun the lion. Just then the gorilla saw a hunter's tent and ducked inside to hide. The hunter, reading the paper, was startled and ran out of the tent. The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter'sshirt and hat, and started to read the paper. A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunterreading the paper, said, "Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in more...
A cowboy is riding his horse through old Oklahoma, when all of a sudden he is captured by a tribe of indians. He is taken to their camp. The indian chief who can speak English tells the cowboy he is going to die in three days. The chief also says that since he has a big heart, he is going to give the cowboy one wish for every day until he dies, making it a total of three wishes.
For his first wish, he tells the chief he wants to talk to his horse. His horse is brought to him and he whispers something in the horse's ear and it takes off. It returns about an hour later with a beautiful woman on his back. The cowboy is furious and cusses the horse out and throws the women in his tent.
The second day he also says he wants to talk to his horse again. He whispers in the horses ear again and it takes off. It returns with another more beautiful woman. The cowboy is outraged and hits the horse and throws the women in his tent.
The last day the chief tells him more...
A man was sailing down the river amazon in a canoe, when he was hit by a poison dart. He woke up some time later in a cage, surrounded by a tribe chief and his minions. The chief said "You have been tresspassing on our tribes private property. You will be doomed to death by ravens pecking out your insides. However, if you pass our 2 tests, you will be allowed to go. The first of which is a test of courage, of bravery, of strength. You must go into the first tent, and there you will find a lion, a lion with a thorn in its paw. The second challenge is one of compassion, thought and love. You must shag the 10 most beautiful ladies of our tribe. Now, let the challenges begin..."
The man goes into the tent and at first, there is much roaring and howling, but eventually it calms down. Then the man comes out and says "That's the first challenge done! Now where are those 10 beautiful ladies who I must pull thorns out of their paws?"
The Lone Ranger & Tonto are camping in the desert, they have set up thier tent and are asleep.Some hours later, the lone ranger wakes his faithful friend.
"Tonto, look up and tell me what you see"
Tonto replies"Me see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"asks The Lone Ranger.Tonto ponders this for a minute and replies"Astrnomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies playing host to billions of stars & planets.Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.Timewise It appears to be 3:15am.Theologically, it is evidentthe Lord is all powerful and as small insignificant beings we pale in his presence.Meteorologically, we are in for a clear and beautiful day tomorrow with a light easterly breeze in the morning."
"What it tell you Kemo Sabi?"
The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, looking at Tonto in amazement, then says:
"Tonto you F*CKWIT... Someone has stolen our tent."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
Sherlock Holmes Was Sleeping In A Tent In A Forest Alongwith His Assistant Watson When He Woke Up And Saw Something Right Over His Head. So, He Shrugged Watson And Asked Him Whether He Noticed Anything.
Watson: "I See A Lot Of Stars Up There And Galaxies And. ....... Blah Blah!"
Holmes:".. And Nothing Else!"
Watson:"Naa!" Holmes:"You Moron! Our Tent Is Missing"