Toilet Jokes

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy.
'Are you the manager?' she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
'Actually, no,' he replies.
'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she says, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
'I'm afraid I can't,' breathes the barman, clearly aroused. 'Is there anything I can do?'
‘Yes there is. I need you to give him a message,' she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them. 'Tell him,' she says, 'that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies' toilet.'

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.
She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. "Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no" he replies. "Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

There once lived three boys. They had really weird names. The first was named Nobody, the second was named Shut Up, and the third was named Manners.
One day, the boy named Nobody fell into the river. Shut Up and Manners went to the police station.
On the way to the police station, Manners needed to go to the toilet, so Shut Up went alone.
Shut Up said"Nobody fell into the river! Nobody fell into the river!"
The policeman asked curiously"Why are you here then?
Shut Up said"Never mind then."
The policeman asked Shut Up"What is your name?" Shut Up replied"Shut Up!" The policeman questioned Shut Up"Where are your manners?" Shut Up responded,"In the toilet!"

Why did the fly fall off the toilet?
It got pissed off.