Tone Jokes / Recent Jokes

In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife.
[sound effect: Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex]
But this method doesn't work with a telephone call...
[sound effect: dial tone]
Introducing the all-new GINSU answering machine! It cuts, it chops, it slices, it dices your incoming calls!
How much would you pay?
Don't answer, because if you leave your name and number when you hear the tone, we'll throw in a return phone call ABSOLUTELY FREE!
[Theme from "Indiana Jones" in the background.]
You've reached the residence of John and Tom. We can't come to the phone right now, because we're cleaning the refrigerator. Please leave your name and number, and we'll get back to you.
[Theme from "Indiana Jones" continues until the beep.]