Torso Jokes

Found Parable by J.D. McClatchy (published in the 15 November 1993 issue of the New Yorker, p. 72)
In the men's room at the office today
some wag has labelled the two stalls
the Erotic and the Political.
The second seems suitable for the results
of my business, not for what thinking
ordinarily accompanies it.
So I've locked myself into the first because,
though farther from the light bulb overhead,
it remains the more conventional
and thereby illuminating choice.
The on its walls is more desperate.
As if I had written them
there myself, but only because by now
I have seen them day after day,
I know each boast, each plea,
the runty widower's resentments,
the phone number for good head.
Today's fresh drawing:
a woman's torso, neck to outflung knees,
with breasts like targets and at her crotch
red felt-tip "hair" to guard
a treasure half would, half wisecrack.
The first critic of desire more...

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "take another drink!" The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "take another drink!" The bartender ignores the whole affair. more...

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the more...

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With the entire bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pop out! The bar goes wild.
The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another more...

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth when the doctor came in and informed the new dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son had only a head! But the dad loved his son anyway, and raised him as well as he could, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son was old enough for his first drink. Dad took him to the bar and tearfully told the son he was proud of him. Then Dad ordered up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso popped out of the bottom of the son's head! The bar was deadly silent; then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons began chanting, "Take another drink!" The bartender stood still, shaking his head in amazement.
Swoooop! Two arms popped out. The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, cried for his son more...