Tradition Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man walks into a pub and says, “Give me three pints of Guinness, please. ”
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they’re gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, “Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one and I’ll bring you a fresh one as soon as you’re low. ”
The man says, “You don’t understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we’d still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too and we’re drinking together. ”
The bartender thinks it’s a wonderful tradition and every week he sets up the guy’s three beers as soon as he enters in the bar. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them, then orders two more. The bartender sadly says, “Knowing your tradition, I’d just like to just say that more...
Jewish Traditions
During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up...
The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a housebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.
The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?"
The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition." The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during Shema?"
The old man more...
Jewish TraditionsDuring a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up...The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a housebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?"The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition." The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during Shema?"The old man answered, "No, that more...
A Japanese, an Italian, and an American climb a great mountain. At the summit, the Japanese guy says that it is tradition to throw an offering off the mountain as a sign of respect for nature. He throws some rice. The Italian throws some pasta. The American throws the Japanese guy off.
Yuo folks!
The election fever is now at its zenith but I am still not sure whether you have decided whom to vote. Hope this brief guide will help you?.
The top ten perfectly logical reasons to vote for UNP?
1. Your grand farther had voted for UNP, your father had voted for UNP and now you want to continue the family tradition.
2. It is the lesser of the two evils. (Justification: "Bheeshanaya tikak thibuna thamai, eth api meeta vada hondata kala endala hitiyane!" Though it was a bit terror regime, we were better off then.)
3. You are an automobile tire merchant and you are certain your business will prosper under a UNP regime.
4. You are an under world Goonda and you have a feeling that your skills and talents will be exploited in a more productive manner if UNP comes to power.
5. Your wife (husband) is an ardent fan of Chandrika and you know in this darned country no self-respecting man (woman) admits sharing the same political ideology more...
There is absolutely NO way Santa is female. Here's why:First, Christmas would be late every year. The line at the department store would never move because Santa would feel the need to "bond" with every kid that sat on her lap. The elves would never get any toys made because they'd be too busy telling her, "No Santa, those red pants do not make you look fat."What woman would be caught dead in a chimney? Gosh, she might break a nail in there. Also, men don't care if they would get covered with ashes and soot while sliding down the chimney.And what about Santa's beard? I'm sure you'll agree that most women look significantly better without facial hair. Besides, she-Santa would not go out without makeup.If Santa was female, she sure wouldn't have white hair. And she would never wear a hat because it would mess up her hair.The tradition is for cookies and milk to be left for Santa on Christmas Eve. If Santa were a woman, the tradition would be chocolates and more...
There is absolutely NO way Santa is female. Here's why: First, Christmas would be late every year. The line at the department store would never move because Santa would feel the need to "bond" with every kid that sat on her lap. The elves would never get any toys made because they'd be too busy telling her, "No Santa, those red pants do not make you look fat." What woman would be caught dead in a chimney? Gosh, she might break a nail in there. Also, men don't care if they would get covered with ashes and soot while sliding down the chimney. And what about Santa's beard? I'm sure you'll agree that most women look significantly better without facial hair. Besides, she-Santa would not go out without makeup. If Santa was female, she sure wouldn't have white hair. And she would never wear a hat because it would mess up her hair. The tradition is for cookies and milk to be left for Santa on Christmas Eve. If Santa were a woman, the tradition would be chocolates and more...