Travels Jokes / Recent Jokes

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Overused plot lines:

Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle to kick the Rooskies out of the good ol' US of A.

Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle to survive against gangs of bandits, mutants, cyberpunks, bikers, etc.

The rag-tag rebel army/fleet struggles valiantly to overthrow the Evil Empire.

The Good Guys travel through time to stop a historical Bad Guy, usually Hitler.

The Bad Guy travels through time to kill the Hero in his childhood, or prevent him from ever being born.

The Chronocops travel in time to catch a Bad Guy who escaped into some other era.

Scientists work feverishly to develop a cure for the Supervirus or a weapon to stop the Invincible Bad Guys.

An alien:

Is stranded on earth;

Befriends a human child or falls in love with an earth gal;

Is pursued by shadowy malevolent Pentagon officials under the pretense of national more...

An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots in Canada and the mixing of the race with the Indians. ‘You’ll find,’ he said, ‘a great number of Scots half-breeds and French half­breeds, but you cannot find any English half-breeds.’ ‘Not surprisingly,’ shouted Wee Hughie in the audience. ‘The squaws had to draw the line somewhere.