Tripp Jokes / Recent Jokes

THE TRAGIC COMEDIE OF KING LEER

Scene 1. A forest glen. Enter Witch Tripp and Kenneth of Starr.

Witch Tripp:
Double, double, Webster Hubbell,
I think I got the Creep in trouble.
Eye of Newt, strap of bra,
Could it be he broke some law?
Praise this broth utmost ephemeral,
Heavens! I left out my Essence of Emeril!

Hark! Who trespasses so near?

Kenneth of Starr:' Tis I, the Inquisitor. What news?

Witch Tripp: Things proceed with quickening speed, m'lord. The maiden
Lewinsky, so deeply embroil'd, is now join'd by the Lady Willey in like
pursuit. Daily tightens the noose around the king.

Starr: Would that it were so, but he hath good counsel, and more moves
than a chess board. His public, well pleas'd with good news of the
economie, doth o'erlook much.

Witch Tripp: How may I serve you next?

Starr: I have need of acts damnable and facts verifiable. Else more...

Linda Tripp and and Ken Starr were cruising along a country road one
evening when a cow ran in front of the car. Ken tried to avoid it but
couldn't.
The cow was killed.
Linda told Ken to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what
happened. About an hour later he staggered back to the car with his
clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a
cigar in the other and smiling happily.
"What happened?" asked Linda.
"Well," Ken shyly replied "the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me
the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Linda.
The driver replied: "That I was giving Linda Tripp a ride, and I just
killed the cow."