Turkeys Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No, ma'am, they're dead."

It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.
In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said "Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No" he replied, "They're all dead".

SMART ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest:
Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart Ass more...

Smart-ass Answer #1:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said,
Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart-ass Answer #2:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're
dead."
Smart-ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart-ass Answer #4:
A truck driver was driving along more...

A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The Parrot, being a male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbors turkeys and rushes back home, but not before being caught in the act.

The next door neighbors knock on the door and explain what the Parrot has been doing. The owners of the parrot reprimand him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going to shave the parrots head.

That night the Parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and screws his neighbors turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.

The following morning is the Farmers daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot, they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.

The parrot is doing fine.' Grooms side to the left and Brides side to the right'. Until two bald guys walk in and he more...

TRUE STORIES FROM THE BUTTERBALL Turkey Hotline, where people call to get advice how to cook a Turkey from the experts.
Thanksgiving Dinner on the run.
A woman called (their number) to find out how long it would take to roast her turkey.
To answer the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the bird weighed.
The woman responded, "I don't know, it's still running around outside."
Tofu turkey?
No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn't Thanksgiving without turkey.
A restaurant owner in California wanted to know how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu.
Then there's the time a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."