US Airways Jokes

US Airways has just announced they'll be offering discount flights from Queens to Manhattan.

John Mark Karr, pedophile and new definition of creepy pervert, flew home to the U.S. today... IN STYLE!! Although he was escorted by US Marshalls, he still flew in business class, dined on king sized grilled prawns, and sipped champagne. The incident was not lost on those in coach who yelled, "Who do you have to kill to get some service around here."

The F.A.A. has reported today that U.S. Airways Flight 1549 actually hit a flock of seagulls and not geese as first suspected. They found evidence of a synthesizer in one of the engines.

Ryanair's discourteous CEO, Michael O'Leary confirmed that yes, indeed, he's going to start charging passengers when they need to go to the bathroom. In response, US Airways said they would never charge to use their bathrooms. Citing that most of their passengers usually piss their pants prior to landing.

However, water will still cost you a one way ticket from La Guardia Airport to Charlotte, N.C.