Vagina Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cows and is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the local beerhall.
One of them says, "Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really quick."
"How did you get it fixed?"
"Well I just dipped my finger in the cow's vagina and rubbed it all over the bull's nose and he got right after her."
Ben goes home to the farm and decides to try it. He grabs a cow, dips his fingers in the cow's vagina and rubs it all around the bull's nose. The bull gets a rip roaring boner and jumps on the cow immediately. Ben was impressed.
That night, Ben gets into bed with his wife and can't get the effect on the bull out of his mind. As she lays sleeping, Ben dips his fingers into his wife's vagina and feeling that it's nice and wet, he rubs it all around his nose and gets a rip roaring hard on. He quickly shakes his wife awake and cries out, more...
MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
LONGEST PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.
MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.
WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a' Cunt more...
The principal at John Jay High school in Cross River N.Y. has suspended 3 students who defied a direct order not to say the word "vagina" during a reading of the Vagina Monologues. Principal Dick Hardly said: " I told the youngsters to refer to the v-words as "Goateed holes that come in the night and try to suffocate your face" or "secret places to store smoked almonds" but they had to go and sexualize things, and will be dealt with appropriately. I have been hearing about these v-word things' existence for a long time, but fortunately have never encountered a real one, don't believe they exist, and challenge anyone to prove otherwise."
Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
TOP TEN things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day: 10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do the splits. 7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet. 6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch. 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes... BEFORE closing time. 4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first. 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video. 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too. 1. And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina... Finally find that damned G-spot.
they were 3 ants they all decided to sleep in a women for a nught. the 1st ant went in the mouth the 2nd in the nose and the 3rd vagina.
the next day they all came together to discuss last night. the 1st in the mouth said it damp and wet the one in the nose said the same but the in the vagina said it was ok until midnight where someone came and punched me so i punched him back and he spat at me!!!
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!"
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit."
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my dick I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina."
The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, yes, whatever, more...