Veil Jokes

Hie history teacher had a policy of letting people who had been a part of history lecture his class whenever possible.
When it came time to teach the history of the First World War, he asked a Swedish neighbor of his to talk about his experience flying for the British air force.
"Veil," he said to the class, "von day I remember veil vas vhen ve vas flying our Schpads over Chermany. .. and all of a zudden zeez two Fuckers fly at us from ze sun. At vonce, I did a loop, but ze Fuckers stayed on my tail. So I did anudder, and still ze Fuckers vus wit me."
"Excuse me," the teacher interrupted, "but I think I should point out to the class that the German planes to which our guest is referring are Fokkers, which were a sturdy make of German aircraft."
"Dat's true," said the guest, "but in dis case, de two Fuckers vas flying Messerschmidts."

In Las Vegas, there are many ministers who hold marriages. So in the middle of the night, a couple knock on the door of a church. One groom and one bride with a heavy veil so the face cannot be seen. The minister lets them in and they do the usual. After the marriage, the groom asks how much he should pay. The minister says the price is on the beauty of the bride. So the groom flips him a quarter. The minister suprised, he lifts the veil of the bride. The minister then says, "Hold on son, I owe you some change."