Vhat Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three Jewish men arrive in New York from Europe, and decide to meet again in 20 years to see how they all made out in America.
20 years pass...
The first man asks the second, "So, nu? How'd you do?" He replies: Vell, you know...ven I came to this country I had no idea vhat to do with myself to make a livink. So I looked at my last name. Goldstein. So I vent into the gold business. And oy, did I make a FORTUNE!"
He turns to the next man and asks, "So nu, how 'bout you?"
He says "Vell, like you I had no idea vhat I vas going to do in this vast country to make a livink, so I too, looked to my last name. Silverberg. So I vent into silver. And oy, did I make a fortune!"
So they both turn to the last man and say, "And you? Vat happened to you?"
So the third man said, "Vell, I too had no idea how I vas to make a living here in America, so I looked at my last name. Taylor. I said, das no good. I never make money as a more...

We've heard the Redneck and Cajun versions - nor for Norwegian, yah?01. BYTE: how Lena stops Ole's advances.02. LOG ON: dats how ya make da vood stove hotter.03. LOG OFF: vhat Sven vas trying to do vhen he burnt his hands terrible.04. MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove.05. MEGAHERTZ: ven a big log drops on your foot.06. COMPACT DISK: vhat ya get from lifting logs dat's too heavy.07. FLOPPY DISK: vhat da lefse looks like vhen it's cooked yust right.08. RAM: da hydraulic ting dat makes da voodsplitter vork.09. DRIVE: how you get home ven da snow's not too deep.10. HARD DRIVE: dat's vhen you're going to Madison vhen da snow's deep.11. PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season.12. ENTER: vhen ya come on in!13. WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets 10 below out.14. SCREEN: vaht ya gotta have in blackfly season.15. CHIP: vhat ya munch on during da Packer's game.16. MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bottom of da bag vhen da big ones are gone.17. MODEM: vhat ve did to da hayfields more...

This joke could be offensive to Norwegians, but I can assure you it's not.
Any Norwegian reader would just tell an even better joke about a Swede instead.
Read in a book about the Joke-war between Norway and Sweden.
It's mid December some year, and Norway has had a new ambassador in the USA
for about a month. He is, as a matter of fact not only new as ambassador
to the USA, he is a novice ambassador of any sort.
He is just about getting familiar with his
work, but he's not always sure about what to do. Suddenly the phone rings..
- Yees... he says, a bit confused. (His phone hardly ever rings.)
- Good morning Mr Ambassador. This is Mike Giordano from the New York Times.
I'd like to know what you want for a Christmas present.
- Eh, Sveind (Yes, that's his name) said. Christmas present... Eh...
I'm very sory Mike, I can't accept any gifts, but tanks anyway.
- Yes, of course... I understand, said Mike with a voice telling a deaf more...