Voodoo Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. (For joke purposes, let's ignore what he might do while on his trip: -) ) So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him.
He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except -- " and he stopped.
"Except what?" the man asked.
"Nothing, more...

30 things people actually said in court
Question 1.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Question 2.
Q: What gear were you in the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweets and Reeboks.
Question 3.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten?
Question 4.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: 38 or 35, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: 45 years
Question 5.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A My name is Susan.
Question 6.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximatly milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: more...

30 things people actually said in court
Question
1. Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Question
2. Q: What gear were you in the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweets and Reeboks.
Question
3. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten?
Question
4. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: 38 or 35, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: 45 years
Question
5. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A My name is Susan.
Question
6. Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximatly milepost
499. Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost more...

30 things people actually said in court
Question
1. Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Question
2. Q: What gear were you in the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweets and Reeboks.
Question
3. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten?
Question
4. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: 38 or 35, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: 45 years
Question
5. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A My name is Susan.
Question
6. Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximatly milepost
499. Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost more...

30 things people actually said in courtQuestion1. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th Q: What year? A: Every year.Question2. Q: What gear were you in the moment of impact? A: Gucci sweets and Reeboks.Question3. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten? Question4. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: 38 or 35, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: 45 yearsQuestion5. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A My name is Susan.Question6. Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximatly milepost499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably between milepost 498 and500.Question7. Q: Sir, What is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.Question8. Q: Did more...

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult? A: We both do.Q: Voodoo? A: We do.Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo.

Once upon a time, there once was a traveling salesman who's wife was a well known sex addict. But because the man could not be home all of the time, he often worried about his wife's faithfullness. He had noticed that she had been eyeing the young neighbor boy who cut their lawn recently. So one day the man decided to try to do something about this. After work the man entered a sexual aid shop and asked the owner to show him the selection of dildos." Why yes, of course." said the owner, "We have a very wide selection." But after looking for quite a long time, the man just did not find anything that satisfied him." Well, maybe I have just what you need." remarked the owner, "Wait here." And with that, the owner ran into the back and started digging around for quite some time. After about twenty minutes, the owner finally came out carrying a strange, rectangular box with ancient writing all over it. He set the box down on the counter and opened it more...