Waiter Jokes / Recent Jokes

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support waiter.
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem.
How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each more...

A panda walks into a diner, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn`t even pay for your sandwich!"

"Hey, man, I`m a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!"
The manager opens his encyclopedia and reads: "Panda: a tree-dwelling mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish."The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says.The waiter nods: "And the vegetable?" he asks."Oh, HE'll have the fish." Hillary replies.

Diner: Waitress, the portions are getting smaller. Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged.

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems
to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a
fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl
are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how
was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the
fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in
your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day more...

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes and takes their drink order." I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggie." I would like a Coke," said the second little piggie." I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggie. The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner." I want a nice big steak," said the first piggie." I would like the salad plate," said the second piggie." I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggie. The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert." I want a banana split," said the first piggie." I want a root beer float," said the second piggie." I want water, lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third little piggie." Pardon me for asking," said the waiter, "but why have you only ordered more...

Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.