Waiter Jokes / Recent Jokes

Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It's no good, sir, he's frightened of them, too.

John was furious when his steak arrived too rare."Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say' well done'?""I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever
get a compliment."

Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies? Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup?.

One day a blonde went into a restaurant and decided she was going to order the free birthday dessert, even though it wasn't her birthday.
A month later on her real birthday she went back to the restaurant with her family, and they had the same waiter.
She ordered the dessert again and the waiter recognized her.
This was her excuse:
"Oh that wasn't me that was my twin sister."
Let's just say she wasn't going back anytime soon.

What will a monster eat in a restaurant? The waiter.

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: So laugh, sir.