Walls Jokes / Recent Jokes

10. Being told to' Think outside the Box' when you're in a friggin box all day long. 9. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who's behind you. 8. Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire. 7. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you'll get a piece of cheese! 6. Lack of roof rafters for the noose. 5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. 4. 23 power cords, 1 outlet. 3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds. 2. When tours come through, you get lots of peanuts thrown at you. 1. You can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.

THE DEAN

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God

THE DEPARTMENT HEAD

Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Talks with God

PROFESSOR

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if a special request is honored

ASSISTANT PROFESSOR

Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Treads water
Talks to animals

INSTRUCTOR

Climbs walls continually
Rides the rails
Plays Russian more...

A boy and his Father visiting from a third world country were at Lakeside Mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his Father: "What is this Father?".
The Father responded: "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!".
While the boy and his Father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out.
The Father said to his son "Go get your Mother".

A boy and his Father visiting from a third world country were at The Mall of America.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his Father "What is this Father?".
The Father responded "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!".
While the boy and his Father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out.
The Father said to his son "Go get your Mother".

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
71. Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling.

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.
They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.
The father yells to his son, "Hurry boy - go get your mother!"

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.The father yells to his son, "Hurry boy - go get your mother!"