Walls Jokes / Recent Jokes

: 1. Being told to "Think Outside the Box" when I'm in the @#$%? box all day!

2. Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.

3. Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.

4. That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.

5. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.

6. My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.

7. Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra or slip without comment.

8. Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.

9. 23 power cords, 1 outlet.

10. Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.

11. When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.

12. Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.

Why do they smear shit on the walls at Polishwweddings? To keep the flies off the bride.

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."

(Washington DC): A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check - a forged check. He got 10 years.
(Virginia): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head - and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask.
(Maryland): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole - are you ready for this? - the bank's video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)
(Washington, DC): A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he more...

The College Food Chain THE DEANLeaps tall buildings in a single boundIs more powerful than a locomotiveIs faster than a speeding bulletWalks on waterGives policy to GodTHE DEPARTMENT HEADLeaps short buildings in a single boundIs more powerful than a switch engineIs just as fast as a speeding bulletTalks with GodPROFESSORLeaps short buildings with a running start and favorable windsIs almost as powerful as a switch engineIs faster than a speeding BBWalks on water in an indoor swimming poolTalks with God if a special request is honoredASSOCIATE PROFESSORBarely clears a quonset hutLoses tug of war with a locomotiveCan fire a speeding bulletSwims wellIs occassionally addressed by GodASSISTANT PROFESSORMakes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildingsIs run over by locomotivesCan sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injuryTreads waterTalks to animalsINSTRUCTORClimbs walls continuallyRides the railsPlays Russian RouletteWalks on thin icePrays a lotGRADUATE more...

The College Food Chain:
The Dean
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy to God.
The Department Head
Leaps short buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a switch engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Talks with God.
Professor
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine. Is faster than a speeding BB. Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool. Talks with God if a special request is honored.
Associate Professor
Barely clears a Quonset hut. Loses tug of war with a locomotive. Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by God.
Assistant Professor
Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings. Is run over by locomotives. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury. Treads water. Talks to more...

A boy and his Father visiting from a third world country were at The Mall of America.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his Father "What is this Father?".
The Father responded "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!".
While the boy and his Father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out.
The Father said to his son "Go get your Mother".