Whack Jokes / Recent Jokes

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this." And he produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. It's bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager; and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and reports: "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who more...

* If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
* If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
* Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
* Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
* If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
* When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in. . . what happens to the other penny?
* Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
* Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
* When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
* Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
* Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
* Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite more...

A frog walks into a bank. He sees that the person at the front desk's name is Patty Whack. The frog says "
Patty Whack, I want to take out a loan for $30,000."
Patty Whack says "
What makes you think you can take that much money?"
The frog says "
My dad, Mick Jagger, knows the manager."
And he takes out a little pink elephant(not real though) for collatoral. Patty Whack takes it to the manager and says "
What is this?"
The manager then says "
Thats a knick-knack Patty Whack, give the frog his loan, his old-man's a rolling stone"
(funny isn't it)

A frog walks into his local bank and walks up to the counter."I would like a loan of

Engineer:4.0000000 x 10^0
Accountant:4, before taxes.
Statistician:95% probability that it falls between 3.9 and 4.0 using student T distributions.
Doctor:I will need to do more tests to be sure.
Lawyer:How much do you want it to be?
Math Prof.:f(x) = 4 u(x) where x>= 0
Marketing:We believe that people prefer the number 3 to the number 4, so the answer WILL be 3!
Computer sales:4, and it is backwards compatible with 3 and 1 too!
Politician:We are funding a multimillion dollar research study to best determine how to procede...
SAT writer:4, unless you do poorly in math (in which case you are correct).
Singapore:WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK
Car Sales:5. But tell you what, I like you, so I will knock it down to 4 (just don't tell my boss.)
Posted to REC.HUMOR by Allen Kitchen

WHY? . ..... 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? 8. Why do' tug' boats push their barges? 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there? 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? 11. Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light"? 12. Doesn't' expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? 13. Why are a' wise man' and a' wise guy' opposites? 14. Why do' overlook and' oversee' mean opposite things? 15. Why is phonics not spelled the way it more...

1. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

2. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

4. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

5. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

6. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

7. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

8. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

9. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

10. Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

11. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

12. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" more...