Whale Jokes / Recent Jokes
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
On Appearance
Excessive use of perfume makes a woman less desirable. Perfumes are manufactured from fragrances of herbs, flowers, and other substances that are put into some medium that is strong enough to hold the odor. That medium is often ambergris...a secretion from the intestines of the sperm whale. In other words, you and your man may smell the odor of whale puke instead of enjoying the fragrance of flowers or herbs.
Cleanliness is especially important. If a woman uses enough soap and has that clean, fresh look that a recent shower gives, she could wear a potato sack and still be desirable for her male.
T-shirts are great. It doesn't take much male imagination to know that in less than five seconds, they are off over your head.
Food particles between the teeth, especially the front teeth, are highly undesirable.
On Dating
If you need to pass gas (fart), excuse yourself from his presence. Try not to destroy illusions by unpleasant odors. If you need to more...
On AppearanceExcessive use of perfume makes a woman less desirable. Perfumes are manufactured from fragrances of herbs, flowers, and other substances that are put into some medium that is strong enough to hold the odor. That medium is often ambergris... a secretion from the intestines of the sperm whale. In other words, you and your man may smell the odor of whale puke instead of enjoying the fragrance of flowers or herbs. Cleanliness is especially important. If a woman uses enough soap and has that clean, fresh look that a recent shower gives, she could wear a potato sack and still be desirable for her male. T-shirts are great. It doesn't take much male imagination to know that in less than five seconds, they are off over your head. Food particles between the teeth, especially the front teeth, are highly undesirable. On DatingIf you need to pass gas (fart), excuse yourself from his presence. Try not to destroy illusions by unpleasant odors. If you need to pass gas, face him.. If you more...
One day there was a whale by the name of Kyle swimming all by it's self, then another whale named Luke asked where his pod was, and Kyle said "
all the fishermen killed them, they're in that boat over there."
so the Luke said, "
why dont't we go blow them out of the water?"
so Kyle said, "
yeah, sure why not?"
They went over to the boat and blew it out of the water, Then Luke said "
well arent you going to eat them?"
And then Kyle said "
No, I dont eat seamen"
Excerpts from Readers's Digest. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then,' cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with more...
Two whales were swimming in the bay when they noticed the whaling boat that killed and harpooned their brother. The first whale says to the second whale, "Hey there is that boat that harpooned and killed our brother. Let's go swim underneath the boat, blow out of our blowholes, and then the boat will tip over, and all the fisherman will drown in the icy sea!!"
The second whale agrees, so they begin to get their revenge. They swim under the boat, blow out their blowholes, and sure enough, the boat capsizes and all the fisherman begin to drown.
The first whale turns to the second and says, "Now I know what we'll do. We'll swim around and eat up all these fisherman to really get back at them!"
The second whale turns to his brother and says, "I don't think so; I may do blowjobs, but I don't swallow sea men."