Wife Jokes / Recent Jokes
Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
The police were called to our house after a violent domestic dispute.
My wife completely lost her head. I was lucky and just had cuts and bruises.
A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, "How long have you been wearing that bra?" The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."
Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,' Hey Dave, how ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.' Oh no,' says Dave.' He's on my bowling team.'
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says,' You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'
'No honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'
A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave.' Hi Davey,' she says,' Want your usual table dance?'
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in more...
A husband had to leave town on a buisness trip his wife was the flirtatious type so he thought about buying an infatable doll but that was too close to another man for him so he went to a adult toy store and talked to the old man behind the counter. The old man said well I really shouldnt show you this but ok....he bought out this box with all these stange looking symbols on it and inside lay a very ordinary looking dildo. The man was like
"That is like every other dildo in here."
The old man said well you have mot seen what it can do..he pointed to the door and said "voodo dick, the door" the dildo rose up out of the box shot towards the door and started banging the heck out of the keyhole, before it could split down the middle the old man said "voodo dick back to the box." the dildo stopped banging the keyhole and floted back to the box. The husband was so amazed he intantly offered the old man all his money and the old man accepted. He told the more...
My wife has just found out I've been fucking a Hermaphrodite.
She screamed at me, "What's she got that I haven't got?"
"Well....."