William Jokes / Recent Jokes

History Of The World According To Actual Grade School Student Exam Papers!1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in Hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died beforehe ever reached Canada.3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had Myths. A Myth is a female moth.5. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.6. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death his career suffered a dramatic decline.7. Eventually the more...

During the tea break, John and William were chatting:
John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
William: oh!
John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
William: No
John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
William: No
John: He's the author of' The 3 Musketeers', if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
William: No
John: He's the author of' Confessions', if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, William got irritated and said:' And you, do you know who is George Hunt?'
John: No
William: He's the guy enjoying with your wife while you are doing night courses!! If you stop night courses, you would know this...

Ive been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeares dead, silly. No wonder he hasnt replied.

Reagan was' The Gipper', will Clinton be' The Zipper?'

11. My real name is not William Jefferson Clinton. It's William KENNEDY Clinton.
10. I didn't want people to confuse me with the Pope on TV
9. She's not THAT young. In Arkansas, the age of consent is only 16
8. Hey, At least she's prettier than Paula Jones or Gennifer Flowers
7. I had to show the American People that I WASN'T impotent for my second term in office
6. I was jealous of Nixon with his' Tricky Dick' nickname
5. I didn't leave a message on her voicemail. Get with it. This is the 90's, I sent her E-MAIL!
4. See I'm not a Lame duck. She said I was pretty GOOD!
3. Excuse me' Your Honor', but she was on top
2. I couldn't control myself. It was genetic. I was in her jeans -- oops, I mean it was in my genes.

AND for those of you who remember the famous' I DIDN'T INHALE' comes the now soon to be famous #1 excuse.......................

1.' I didn't more...

William: May I have some money for the man crying outside? Mum: What crying man? William: The one thats crying, Ice cream! Ice Cream!

Knock Knock
Who's there!
William!
William who?
William Eynd my bike while I go to the shops? Knock Knock
Who's there!
William!
William who?
William-ind your own business!

Great Thinkers of Our Time? Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would liveforever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not liveforever." -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over theworld, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like thatbut not with all those flies and death and stuff." -- Mariah Carey"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the samereactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discoveredother similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are." -- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." -- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his more...