Wizard Jokes / Recent Jokes

King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table, so he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful, and said that he'd see if he could come up with something, and asked him to come back in a week.
A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt - except that it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. "This is no good, Merlin!" the king exclaimed; "look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe," said Merlin as he searched his cluttered work bench until he found what he was looking for. He then selected his most worn-out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it more...

The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.
"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage."
"NO PROBLEM" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?"
Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well..., Well..., Well..., I need a brain."
"DONE" says the Wizard. "WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD?"
Up steps George Bush sadly; "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE," says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."
Then there is a great silence. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, not saying a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WELL, WHAT BRINGS YOU more...

King Arthur was getting ready to go on a Quest. He was worried about leaving his beautiful Queen Guinevere alone with all those lonely knights of the Round Table. So he went to his famous wizard, Merlin, for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said to come back in a week and he'd see if he could come up with something.

A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.' This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed,' Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'

'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a more...

I'm amazed more people haven't spotted these film flubs:

* Part of the movie is in black and white, then inadvertently goes to color, and then back to black and white! An obvious continuity gaffe.

* Although the movie purports to be in Kansas, several scenes are obviously filmed on a Hollywood sound stage.

* The scene where the teacher rides past Dorothy's bedroom window in the midst of a tornado is physically impossible.

* When the characters sing you can hear music accompanying them but there are no radios or musicians in the area!

* For a land to exist "over the rainbow" it would have to be lighter than air, and as Dorothy was already shown to be composed of solid matter, how come she didn't fall back down to earth?

* Some of the so-called "munchkins" are obviously children wearing fake facial hair and grown up clothes.

* The "yellow brick road" is not really yellow as much as more...

King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful, and said that he'd see if he could come up with something, and asked him to come back in a week.
A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt... except that it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
"This is no good, Merlin!" the king exclaimed, "Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe." said Merlin as he searched his cluttered work bench until he found what he was looking for. He then selected his most worn-out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down more...

Wizard:I am the wizard of Oz! Why have you come here?
Scarecrow:I have come for my brains!
POOF!
Wizard:You are now the smartest person in all the land!
Scarecrow:2 times the square root of 4 squared is equal to 2 plus 2!
Others:What does that mean?
Scarecrow jumps and lands but...
Scarecrow:Ouch! It means I landed on my nose!