Wizard Jokes / Recent Jokes

The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado in Kansas, and off they spin to the Land of OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.
"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage."
"No problem" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?" Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well.., Well.., Well.., I need a brain." "Done" says the Wizard.
"Who comes next before the Great Wizard?" Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
"I've heard it's true" says the Wizard. "Consider it done."
Then there is a great silence. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT BRINGS more...

Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away.
When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"

Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car
together in the midwest. A tornado comes along and
whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away.
When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they
realize they're in the land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz.
Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
Clinton says, "Where's Dorothy?"

An alternate, yet still accurate, description of the Wizard of Oz.

'Transported into a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.'

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation -"I now pronounce you man and wife."

This particular Wizard worked in a modern factory. Everything was satisfactory except that certain miscreants took advantage of his good nature, and would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following effective sign: This parking space belongs to the Wizard.... Violators will be toad!

There's a woman and two men. The woman says she is the most beatiful
person in the world. The first man says that he is the strongest man on
the earth. The second man says that he has had the most sex in the world.
But then all three disagree about one another and so the three go to the
wizard. The woman went in and asked the wizard if she is the most beatiful
woman in the world and the wizard said that she was. Then the first man
went in and asked the wizard if he was the stongest man in the world and
the wizard that he was. Then the second man went in and asked the wizard
if he had the most sex in the world, but instead the second may came out
and said "Who is Bill Clinton?"