Wonderful Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...(She is speaking in a cheery voice)"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:
"Hello? Oh, hi.... I'm so glad that you called.... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time.... Oh, that sounds terrific.... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?
It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome.
So, how are you getting there? ”
“We’re taking TWA, ” was the reply. “We got a great rate! ”
“TWA? ” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome? ”
“We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott. ”
“That dump! That’s the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there? ”
“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope. ”
“That’s rich, ” laughed the barber. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck more...

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professionalman who will just love them for who they are.What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them onlybecause no other woman wants him.What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela LeeAnderson; Wonderful Mom with big hooters and can suck the chrome offa flag pole.What men get: Someone who immediately begins to gain those 80 extralbs the moment after she says "I Do", beginning with the wedding cake! What women want in bed: A passionate lover who takes the time to kissand gently caress, slowly building up to a wonderful joyous experiencetogether.What they get: "Wham-Bam-Thank-You Ma'am!", Belch, Fart, ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzWhat men expect out of a marriage: 3 loving children who honor theirparents.What they get: 3 helions who are a combination of their parents everyfault and make their life a living hell.1st anniversary card from husband to wife: "My sweet loving more...

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Old Man On A Bench An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying." Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves." The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"