Yes Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion. "What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi. "Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest. "Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi. "Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop." said the Priest. "Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi. "If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, it's possible for me to become a full Bishop." said the Priest. "O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi. The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal." "And then?" asked the Rabbi. The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my more...

The class has started and almost all the students were
in-class, prepared to expand their knowledge.
The teacher walked in and said, " Good morning class!"
and the students replied....
The teacher called out each student.
The replies were, "yes Ms. B" or "here" or "present" or
"taking a dump" or "absent"...... but for some reason, when the
teacher called out Jonny, there was no reply....
...... and there appeared our little Jonny at the door.... he
gave an innocent look.
Teacher: Jonny, why are you late?
Jonny: Ms. B, I was on top of Cherry Hill...
Teacher: Have a seat Jonny.
The teacher continued with the attendance..... and when she
called out Mark...... once again there was no reply.....
...... and there was Mark, right at the door with torn clothes....
Teacher: Mark! Are you OK?
Mark: Yes Ms. B....
Teacher: Now, what is your reason more...

Once Santa Singh Entered A Cybercafe To Check His Mails. It Was Crowded So He Had To Wait. As He Waited He Saw A Man Checking His Mails. He Stood Behind Him And Watched. The Man Typed His Password And Was Waiting When Santa Singh Cried Out'Yes Yes I Know Your Password. I Can Read Your Mails Now.
"Surprised The Man Asked "Oh Yeah, Tell Me What Is It".
Santa Singh Replied " Five Stars."

The 5 toughest questions that women ask men, and the answers... The questions are: 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i. e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses. Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. Baseball. b. Football. c. How fat you are. d. How much prettier she is than you. e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died. more...

Woman's English
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Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later!

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure. . . go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be more...

A Jewish man and a Chinese man were conversing. The Jewish man commented upon what a wise people the Chinese are. "Yes," replied the Chinese man, "Our culture is over 4, 000 years old. But, you Jews are a very wise people, too." The Jewish man replied, "Yes, our culture is over 5, 000 years old." The Chinese man was incredulous, "That's impossible," he replied. "Where did your people eat for a thousand years?"

A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after classstarted, he realized that he desperately needed to go tothe bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask ifhe could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, butasked him to be quick. Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it", he admitted. The teacher sat him down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be ableto find it now. The boy looked at the diagram, said "yes"and goes on his way. Five minutes later he returned to the class room and saysto the teacher "I can't find it". Frustrated, the teacher asked Jon, a boy who has been atthe school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom. So two fellas go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Jon, "Well, did you find it?" Jon is quick with his more...