"12 Things NOT to Say if Pulled Over" joke

12. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?
11. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
10. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
9. No, offi, offic, lucifer... I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
8. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph.
7. Back off, Barney, I've got a piece.
6. Want to race to the station, Sparky?
5. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
4. On the way to the station let's get a six pack.
3. You'll never get those cuffs on me... You Homo!
2. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
1. No, YOU assume the position.