"14 things to do at the movies" joke

1. When waiting to buy your tickets, ask if you can cut in front of the person in front of you. if and when they say no, wait two minutes, and ask again. keep doing this until you reach the ticket person. 2. When buying your tickets, order one for each movie and ask if they think you can make it to all of them on time. 3. When buying the tickets order one for a movie, then change your mind after they have given it to you. Repeat until you have gotten through all the movies and say, "Oh, i think i'll just stick to the first one." 4. When standing in line for snacks, glare at everyone and yell, "Do you know how much fat there is in all of this? You people should be ashamed of yourselves, sitting on your butts in a movie theater and then eating 4 million calories before you leave!" When it is your turn, order an extra large soda, popcorn, 2 hotdogs, 3 orders of nachos, ice cream, and candy. 5. When the snack bar person asks what you want, say, "You. And put extra butter on that!" 6. When finding a seat, try and take up as many as possible and when someone tries to sit down say, "What's wrong with you? Can't you see that Tom is sitting there?" 7. During the previews, keep saying, "This is bull! Show the movie!" 8. When the movie starts, yell, "Wait! I want to see more previews!" 9. During the movie, keep whispering to the person next to you. When the shush you, shush them back and say, "Will you please shut up? I'm tryhing to watch the movie!" 10. Laugh obnoxiously 5 seconds after teh joke is over, and keep laughing for about 10 seconds after everyone has stopped. (works well in dramas or tragedies that have virtually no comedy.) 11. During the movie, suddenly yell, "These people can't act for their lives! I could do much better!" Then proceed to stand right in front of the screen and mimic the actors. 12. Keep talking to your invisible friend next to you, saying things like "Dont you hate it when people talk

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