"16 Signs Your Teacher Is Nuts" joke

16. Even though you're all seniors, she insists on having "Show' n' Tell," just so she can show everyone that tattoo on her ass again.

15. If you're late you have to sit up front for a special lap dance.

14. Finishes introducing himself by saying, "... and if I'd have known she was a statue, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near her!"

13. Every morning the "current events discussion" has the same topic: those panty-waist losers he served with in' Nam.

12. Attempting to be cool, she says her college roommate was Lilith Fair.

11. For the 182nd consecutive day: The Zapruder Film

10. New haircut -- check. Fresh clean blackboard -- check. Puddle under desk -- uh, oh.

9. She insists that a 36-year-old teacher actually had a baby with a 13-year-old student.

8. Refusing to admit summers over, sits on lawn chair at the front of the room and screams for the cabana boy to bring another Mai Tai.

7. Eats paste' n' crayon sandwiches that melt all over his shirt.

6. Constantly hounding patent office about his revolutionary in-pants lesson plan filing system.

5. Always cracks himself up by announcing, "Now we're gonna go into Chapter 13... just like your parents!"

4. She keeps a tip jar on her desk.

3. Continually re-seats the class by outfit color, so if you squint your eyes it looks like Manet's "Dejeuner sur L'Herbe."

2. Says that if he had his way, the biology class would be dissecting "mall rats."

1. Constantly asking class if anyone knows how to get blood stains off a clown suit.