"20 Uses for Fruitcake" joke

1. Use as a doorstop
2. Use as a paper weigh
3. Use to clean your pots and pans
4. Use as boat anchor
5. Use as bricks in fireplace
6. Build a house with them
7. Use it to hold up your Christmas tree
8. Use as a pencil holder
9. Give it to the cat for a scratching post
10. Put it in the back yard to feed the birds and squirrels
11. Hold up your car when changing tires
12. Slice and use for poker chips
13. Use it to carve your turkey on
14. Use as replacement for Duraflame log
15. Take it camping with you... use it to weigh down the tent
16. Use it as a seat at a stadium event
17. Stand on it when you change a lightbulb
18. Put it in the back of your car/truck for snow/ice driving
19. Replaces free weights when you work out
20. Use as book ends at the school library