"25 REASONS MEN ARE HAPPIER" joke

This is why men are happier:
1- Your last name stays put.
2- The garage is all yours.
3- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4- Chocolate is just another snack.
5- You can never be pregnant.
6- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
7- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
8- Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental- $100.
9- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
10- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. (lol)
11- One mood all the time.
12- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
13- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
14- You can open all your own jars.
15- If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
16- Your underwear is just $9. 95 for a three-pack.
17- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (sometimes 2)
18- Everything on your face stays its original color.
19- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
20. You only have to shave your face and neck. (This is not true)
21- One color for all seasons.
22- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
23- You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
24- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
25- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.