"30 Fun Things to Do in the Elevator" joke

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other
passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up,
dammit, all of you shut up!"
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got
enough air in there?"
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting
off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then
act embarrassed when they open up by themselves.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Noogie patrol coming!"
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to
call you Admiral.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until
you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've
got new socks on!"
When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now,
damn, motion sickness!"
Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
Show other passenger a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Holler "chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of them!"
and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp and then say "mmmm... tasty!"
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers that this is your "personal space."
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh
mouf?"
Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear X-ray specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.